Saw this on Linked In earlier
http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k2...psfkfdnwtq.png
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Saw this on Linked In earlier
http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k2...psfkfdnwtq.png
Intelligence you say
Intelligently whip out the clippers and razor get that scraggy ar$ed beard trimmed up a bit, looks a bloody disgrace !!!
LolQuote:
Originally Posted by Velorum
Intelligence?
Intelligence has nothing to do whatsoever with grooming. I have been privileged to associate with some of the finest brains of my generation and they are scruffy buggers all.
I did spend some time the other week with someone who was 'Strategic Director for Strategic Direction'
My BiL is a "Penetration tester"
When you work for a large organisation, you discover a multitude of BS job titles.
Best one I've seen is 'Digital Envoy'. He was a bit fed up of people asking if he was real or a hologram.
Professor of Difficult Sums Huddersfield 1966 is so outdated; any ideas for my new title?
We have a head of intelligence and insight at our place too! He's actually a useful guy who provides a lot of good intelligence and insight on our market and competitors. I do agree though, masses of BS job titles in the large company I work for.
(Edit, I once had the job title Deputy of Business Support, Strategy and Development for the UK. Nobody knew what I actually did, and nor did I).
Best I've encountered at work was an Australian bloke who was a Crocodile wrangler.
The best advert that I've seen was in The New Civil Engineer in 1974.
It said "London Borough of Brent, Inspector Of Street Lighting. (3 posts)"
I thought that would be a pretty easy job :-).
I had a mate who was a pot washer in a local pub whilst in uni. Rather than stick with that title he used to like to call himself Head of Underwater Ceramic Engineering
Shouldn't that be "Hunt-a-comb Group"?
David
An old guvnor of mine use to say if you can't describe your job in three words or less, you haven't got a proper one. "I mend watches" is a proper job. "I'm regional coordinator for outreach strategies (etc)" isn't.
My favourite is "Streetscene Operative".
I have heard binmen referred to as "Refuse Technicians" too
Signed up for some industry magazines as:
Solutions Imagineer. Of course we were in the Imagineering and Solutioneering Dept. of a start up.
Dave
+1 and also window cleaners as "Non-Crystaline Amorphous Solid Asset Maintenance Technicians"Quote:
Originally Posted by reggie747
My former father-in-law was a Police officer, stationed at Havant. Nearby were several factories, one of which manufactured Tampax.
It was the 1970's and strikes were very much in vogue, and the local constabulary were called in to monitor one such at the afore-mentioned factory.
It was all quite peaceful, and good-natured, and my father-in-law was chatting to one of the pickets, a rather rotund, gruff chap. Father-in law: "What job do you do, then?"
Striker: "I'm a fitter".
I'd like a sparkly new job title: I was thinking about moving in to the NHS so I could join the Commission for Quality and Innovation - CQUIN.
A friend of mine worked at an internet startup and had the job title 'Thought Factory'
Working in the "technology" industry it's not uncommon to come across people describing themselves as things like "Disruptive Futurist" and "Chief Evangelist"
I strongly suspect these people spend a lot of time in meetings and not much time doing any actual work. Nice work if you can get it I suppose!
My old job title was Plant Manager Support abbreviated to PMS
Going back 15 years ago there was only so much text that you could have on your job description title for the staff directory, a co-worker was not informed so his title came up as Management Accounts Anal instead Analyst.
First time I encountered this was at Freeserve when they were the first 'Pay as you go' ISP.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bloobird
They had a bloke who revelled in the title "Freeserve Evangelist", which at the time seemed quite cool, but I think you're right in that his role was to 'Evangelise', but at the time it seemed appropriate.
It's all old hat now, but was genuinely quite exciting then.
M
LOL - my wife has just got a job there - must find out what title they have awarded her.......
I was having trouble with an app and and I've just had an email from a person with the job title 'Social Media & Comms Whizz Kid'
Paddy Power have a 'Head of Mischief'.
I knew of an 'Opensource Diva'.
I have no idea what she did and nor, I suspect, did she.