How to set your balls on fire

As I continue on my meandering path through computering, I though I would share my latest findings.

My 3-year-old HP Elitebook laptop had been radiating warmth to my groin area recently whilst being used and charged simultaneously..
Then I noticed that the caseback had split from the front moulding (the bit with the keyboard in it). Attempts to push it back in place using the peripheral snag catches were not successful; it was as though something had bulged within.
The reason became clear once I undid the T5 screws and separated the two components; something had bulged within. The lithium battey in fact.
Not having prior knowledge of such matters, I Googled "swollen laptop battery" only to discover that I was in imminent danger of having an incendiary incident in my lap. Coincidentally as I read the results of my Google search, the TV was showing footage of an e-bike exploding at Sutton railway station.
Afrer a period of contemplation I decided not to use the laptop until I had secured a fix. Suitable new batteries are a-plenty on eBay so one is winging its way towards me as we speak.

That's it. Thank you for reading. Onwards and upwards.

Just make sure its a genuine battery as some of these, lets shall we say, knock off batteries, from eastern shores can be just as dangerous.
(Note- specific country not named due to fear of offending)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Franky Four Fingers

Just make sure its a genuine battery as some of these, lets shall we say, knock off batteries, from eastern shores can be just as dangerous.
(Note- specific country not named due to fear of offending)

---

Yeah, I was worried about that. It isn't genuine HP but it was recommended by a computer-repairing friend so fingers crossed.

Ah warmth in the groin area... I remember those days before I got married

Sent from my M2101K6G using Tapatalk

they are very well made laptops, i would think you are blocking the air intake vents by putting it near your groin and the whole thing was heating up too much and affected the batteries.

i have been using laptops since the 1990`s and never had a single issue with batteries on them

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by xellos99

they are very well made laptops, i would think you are blocking the air intake vents by putting it near your groin and the whole thing was heating up too much and affected the batteries.

i have been using laptops since the 1990`s and never had a single issue with batteries on them

---

Might be stating the obvious here but isn't the clue in the name? Surely anything you place it on whether it be a work surface, table, your crotch, would have that same issue?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Franky Four Fingers

Might be stating the obvious here but isn't the clue in the name? Surely anything you place it on whether it be a work surface, table, your crotch, would have that same issue?

---

That machine has 4 rubber feet that lift it off the desk by a few mm to give the cooling system room to suck air in from the bottom vent.

If you look at the bottom of that machine you can see hundreds of tiny little holes where the cooling system sucks air in and then the cooling fan blows it out of the side.

When you put it on your lap you block those holes and affect the cooling performance.

I would bet that it says in the manual for that machine, do not obstruct the air intake vents.

Of course many people do use them on their lap without major issues but i would think many machines have also been damaged that way.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by xellos99

That machine has 4 rubber feet that lift it off the desk by a few mm to give the cooling system room to suck air in from the bottom vent.

If you look at the bottom of that machine you can see hundreds of tiny little holes where the cooling system sucks air in and then the cooling fan blows it out of the side.

When you put it on your lap you block those holes and affect the cooling performance.

I would bet that it says in the manual for that machine, do not obstruct the air intake vents.

Of course many people do use them on their lap without major issues but i would think many machines have also been damaged that way.

---

Cant say as I've given it that much thought or attention but i get your point, in saying that I've not had a laptop since the introduction of the iPad. In that case probably the worst named object in history. They should stick the intake on one side and blow it out the other.

Pleased this thread is about computers, from the heading I thought you had accidentally rubbed Deep Heat over your privates.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by unclealec

As I continue on my meandering path through computering, I though I would share my latest findings.

My 3-year-old HP Elitebook laptop had been radiating warmth to my groin area recently whilst being used and charged simultaneously..
Then I noticed that the caseback had split from the front moulding (the bit with the keyboard in it). Attempts to push it back in place using the peripheral snag catches were not successful; it was as though something had bulged within.
The reason became clear once I undid the T5 screws and separated the two components; something had bulged within. The lithium battey in fact.
Not having prior knowledge of such matters, I Googled "swollen laptop battery" only to discover that I was in imminent danger of having an incendiary incident in my lap. Coincidentally as I read the results of my Google search, the TV was showing footage of an e-bike exploding at Sutton railway station.
Afrer a period of contemplation I decided not to use the laptop until I had secured a fix. Suitable new batteries are a-plenty on eBay so one is winging its way towards me as we speak.

That's it. Thank you for reading. Onwards and upwards.

---

Whilst I suppose a new ‘no name battery’ is better than your old presumably genuine but expanding 3 year old one, be aware that one of the reasons you see ‘exploding’ e-bikes is precisely because they use cheaply/poorly built batteries with cells of unknown origin and limited or zero internal safety features to mitigate thermal runaway events, or fires.

With a battery, you also need to consider the charger that will be used, do the electronics inside the new battery communicate properly with the charger to not only allow charging in the first place, but also vary charge based on temperature as well as limit charge current when it’s nearly at peak voltage to prevent over charging? How do the new battery cells compare to your original ones in that regard, what’s their peak discharge rate versus what the laptop might be demanding?

I don’t mean to scare monger, and chances are it will be absolutely fine, but HP designed the battery to work with the charger as well as the laptop, so best to replace with an OEM battery if possible albeit they’re more expensive but it’s not just because of the branding in most cases.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wallasey Runner

Pleased this thread is about computers, from the heading I thought you had accidentally rubbed Deep Heat over your privates.

---

One of the funniest reviews of all time

https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R3GDDEL1SC1QQ5

It's not just fires that you have to worry about....https://time.com/4938530/can-laptops-cause-infertility/

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by K9david

One of the funniest reviews of all time

https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R3GDDEL1SC1QQ5

---

Knew what this would be before clicking. Still comedy genius, like the review for the OXO tower on what I believe was this is London or something similar 20+ years ago.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JonRA

It's not just fires that you have to worry about....https://time.com/4938530/can-laptops-cause-infertility/

---

With a laptop on my lap and a phone in my pocket for the last 20yrs it is probably very lucky we have no desire for them; especially starting at 47 and wanting to retire in a decade! From what I see they are very expensive things!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JonRA

It's not just fires that you have to worry about....https://time.com/4938530/can-laptops-cause-infertility/

---

Not applicable in my case. Testicular cancer.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tooks

Whilst I suppose a new ‘no name battery’ is better than your old presumably genuine but expanding 3 year old one, be aware that one of the reasons you see ‘exploding’ e-bikes is precisely because they use cheaply/poorly built batteries with cells of unknown origin and limited or zero internal safety features to mitigate thermal runaway events, or fires.

With a battery, you also need to consider the charger that will be used, do the electronics inside the new battery communicate properly with the charger to not only allow charging in the first place, but also vary charge based on temperature as well as limit charge current when it’s nearly at peak voltage to prevent over charging? How do the new battery cells compare to your original ones in that regard, what’s their peak discharge rate versus what the laptop might be demanding?

I don’t mean to scare monger, and chances are it will be absolutely fine, but HP designed the battery to work with the charger as well as the laptop, so best to replace with an OEM battery if possible albeit they’re more expensive but it’s not just because of the branding in most cases.

---

Point taken. I am pinning my hopes on the friend's recommendation; he uses batteries from this supplier when he refurbs appliances for resale.
By the way, I have misled the court; I bought it 3 years ago as a refurb (not from my pal) so it may well be that the battery is well older than three years.

Very good point about the air flow; never even considered it, but will from now on.

The Li-ions heat tonight

I was expecting a tutorial from the title, disappointed.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by K9david

One of the funniest reviews of all time

https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R3GDDEL1SC1QQ5

---

That’s brilliant. I remember a few runners using Deep Heat on a leg injury and forgetting to wash their hands before going for a pee. You only do it once.

Literally knocked this up the other day to stop such a thing.

https://i.imgur.com/x2farsU.jpeg

https://i.imgur.com/BIrSbMq.jpeg

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by sprite1275

Literally knocked this up the other day to stop such a thing.

---

How did you avoid drilling into your nadgers whilst making the holes?

I have balls like golf balls now.

Goodness gracious…..

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mr Curta

How did you avoid drilling into your nadgers whilst making the holes?

---

I thought that.

Nifty bit of penis dodging I notice.

I avoid at least the ravages of heat with one of these:

https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/oejulf-...grey-30556328/

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by unclealec

I thought that.

Nifty bit of penis dodging I notice.

---

I was going to put a hole at the front for a joystick.

Glory be!