I had a chicken cat once. Clucking pussy.
"Bite my shiny metal ass."
- Bender Bending Rodríguez
This thread has reminded me that I used to work in a department where the bane of everybody's life was somebody called Colin Veitch; there would be a letter of complaint almost every week. I had the pleasure of responding to less than a handful of his minutes (the magial days before email) and I took immense pleasure in starting each of them with "Dear Colon"
I quite enjoy chicken chaat
But what about my chimney?
Originally Posted by Carlton-Browne
"Bite my shiny metal ass."
- Bender Bending Rodríguez
I don't know anybody called Colin.
Although I once met Charlie Higson, who played Colin Hunt in The Fast Show. That's the best that I can do. I'm very ashamed.
I wonder if chimney sweeps are cheaper in springtime? I'd imagine most people don't think about getting their chimney swept until autumn/winter.
Alternatively you could drop a chicken down the chimney.
Can't believe I forgot about my colleague Colin! I know two Colins. Colleague Colin has 2 Panerai and a IWC Mark XVI
Two Colins! You're just mocking me now!
My left testicle is called Colin, he doesn't wear a watch or drive a Honda. Is there any hope ?
You have a dry dog? I had a damp dog once. She smelt musty.
And they've BOTH got interesting watches. I think we're onto something special here.
Oh, that's right. Rub it in, why don't you?
I feel so inadequate now, and all because I don't know a single Colin. If it wasn't for the fact that I once had a parcel delivered by a man called Mark from DPD and I was able to track his progress as he made a very circuitous route to deliver to me, and seemed to stop for an inappropriately long time at delivery 53 (I was delivery 61, and was getting pretty anxious) I'd feel totally bereft.
My new postie is called Tim, I know this as he writes me a little note on junk mail envelopes followed by a smiley face, the note usually says, 'in tub, Tim🙂' I know it's not a invitation to have a bath as I have an arrangement that he leaves packets and signed for stuff in a garden tub... I think the smiley face is a nice touch.
Cheers..
Jase
My friend Martin has a 10 year old Honda Civic. He also has a chicken.
I once worked in the office next to (neighbouring) a Colin, but he drove an incredibly small Ford.
Dave and Rob both drove Civics.
None of us work there any more.
Lucky (relative) newbie. Bragging doesn't go down too well here, so be warned.
I don't have a cat and it's not called Colin, and I don't have a hat and that's not called Colin either - by that I mean that the hat's not called Colin, not Colin Either.
My neighbour drives a rickshaw. Didn't see a Honda badge on it though.
Show off!
I work with a Ricky and another who's surname is Shaw. One of them, in real actual factual life, drives a Honda! No idea on if it had advisories on its last MOT, when I next see him I shall ask and post the response forthwith - my most sincere apologies for the cliffhanger.
My drive in to work this morning was entirely uneventful, and I am now waiting for my PA to arrive and make me a coffee.
In the meantime I am reviewing emails and writing this.
(I think I did see a Honda Civic on the way in, but I can't be entirely sure because it was from a distance).
Last edited by TheFlyingBanana; 8th March 2016 at 08:26.
Sadly, leaving my job means I don't have a PA any longer and have to make my own coffee. Had I known that, I might still sit at my old desk...
Someone who lies about the little things will lie about the big things too.
Nothing really terrible related to cars or watches happened to me yesterday, and I feel confident that items we own that are still under guarantee will be replaced or repaired if they fail to function as per their T&C's, because of this I am unlikely to need to ask the forums opinion or post a poll.
Our dog is called Nipper.
I think I'm wearing the same shirt as last Wednesday.
When i bought my new shoes I was concerned they may give me a blister.
Never happened though. They actually wore in rather nicely.
While drinking my coffee I've been working out lug to lug measurements for some watches by holding a ruler to my phone screen and then doing some sums. Here starts another action packed day on planet earth.
I'm happy to report that I have had my coffee, but I absent mindedly put two lots of sweetner in, as opposed to my usual one. Thus it was sweeter than I would usually like.
I once had a Honda. CB350 it was. Oh, and a NT650. Oh, and a Pan European. It appears I have had 3 Hondas.
Once I was arrested because of a Colin.
I've popped a chicken down the chimney but now need to wait for it to thaw.
I have a Land Rover and a BSA.
I play guitar and so does my daughter.
This morning I did porridge again, no not a stretch in Strangeways, the cereal, my 93 year old dad says its good for me.
When I was 17, on my dad's Honda Cub 90 with just the right wind behind me, I once managed to reach 60mph.
Come to think of it, I once owned a Honda CBR900 Fireblade. It was rather fast, sometimes too fast for me - so I did the only sensible thing and bought an even faster bike.
I am happy that I am over that period of my life now.
Curse you, number 2. I'd just narrowed it down to either Weetabix Crunchy Bran or (fun sized I think they used to be called) Shredded Wheat, when you threw that curved ball.
I'm putting on some new socks today and I think I'll tell the postman (if I see him).
I knew a Colin once who wore a leather cap, he also rode a Triton...I think he thought he looked like Marlon Brando, but he looked more like the bloke out of Frankie goes to Hollywood!
I didn't have a PA, there was one in the sports field next to our office and it was made by Tannoy.
I don't have a cat.
I do have a Civic, it is not called Colin.
I live 40 miles from Liverpool as the crow flies, but I don't think crows actually fly from here to there.
I once had an assistant called Doris.
Jason Plato does not drive a Honda.
I feel i should have mentioned this earlier, i have a bit of a confession...
I've actually owned 3 Hondas in my time, the first was when i was just 16 years old (Pictured on the left) and the latest (Pictured on the right) i still own to this very day...
And the real 'icing on the cake' is... My father in law is called Colin.
Apologies for dropping this rather large bombshell.
Colin Powell isn't a real Colin.
I just knew it wouldn't be long before the conspiracy theories started.
Yes he is - just calls himself Co-Lin. Just like the footballers from anywhere other than the UK are Dav-Id rather than David.
If it is the same Doris who I once knew.... aaahhhhhh.
Well you kept that quiet!
With your permission I'll tell my imaginary friends about this on imareallylonleybloke forum.
There's a Honda in the car park
I'm sat in my friends car, it's not a Civic it's a Range Rover, it's got an mot but he's not called Colin though he does also drink in my local where you will recall scouse Colin is the non Civic owning landlord.
We had a Honda in front of us.
^^^^that's a grand bit of traffic you were in. Jealous.
As long as you tell them to keep it to themselves, i've personally never been able to trust imaginary friends.
That reminds me, i have to get some petrol at lunch time.
Was your Doris in Vienna? I know a Doris in Vienna. I must find out if she knows any Colins - if she does she should probably marry him though I don't think she's the marrying type (of Doris).If it is the same Doris who I once knew.... aaahhhhhh.
I once ate a superb Wiener Schnitzel in Vienna. If I am not mistaken, the waiter knew somebody by the name of Colin; or maybe Franz-Joseph?
Did you have Kaiserschmarrn afterwards? Dreadful stuff.
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