Reply With QuoteI am sure Colin would be able to help.
The toilets in Helmsley are like that; I don't think that Swissair own them, but I'll try to find out.
I am sure Colin would be able to help.
Apparently you can freeze cheese!
Just stick a block in the freezer and you'll never be caught short again.
Did you know that?
Have you invented a urinal made of cheese?
Reblojohn, peut-etre?
Stinking Bishop?
Actually, and not all that inane, I've found that once de-frosted cheddar is not great 'as is' but is absolutely fine for cooking, toasting etc.
I've just realised that despite knowing several Colins I've not spoken to one in some time
I had one of those bags of pre-grated cheddar in my fridge once.
I remember someone had pushed it too far back (against the rear wall of the fridge) and some of it froze.
Not sure what we did with it in the end, as it was a long time ago now.
Could be a case for Colin of Cheese Investigators. I used to have his card, but I haven't seen it since the last nasty business.
I just realised that I know someone who can't stand cheese in any shape or form. His name is not Colin.
In our house we always keep the Parmesan in the freezer. And I am not talking of the powder stuff, I mean real Parmigiano. I grate it while it's still frozen. I have never frozen any Camembert, though.
Someone who lies about the little things will lie about the big things too.
That's all very well but the Reblochon is the elephant in the room.
In the Sotadic Zone, apparently.
I like cheese.
I grade grocery shops by cheese variety and availability.
I grade cheese by the number of twee images on the packet.
"Bite my shiny metal ass."
- Bender Bending Rodrķguez
I grade bicycle shops in exactly the same way.Originally Posted by VDG
That's strange, I grade cheese by the variety of bicycles they have in grocery shops.
Or is it the other way round? I get confused.
No, what you do, you grade bicycles by ability to withstand an average cheese loving mamil for a given period of time without need to go back to a bicycle shop, whether or not the mamil in question shops in your local grocery store is irrelevant.
Anyway, I've had a very pleasant conversation the other day with a chap in the walk-in cheese humidor in my local grocery store who turned out to be a keen cyclist. He is very fit, I didn't ask his name.
Doesn't sound like the bicycle shops in his area are very good, does it? Well, by my grading system, I mean.
If you see him again, would you mind asking him and letting me know, because it would save me a few* wasted journeys - I can eliminate them from my enquiries, if you see what I mean?
*Edit: I just re-read what I'd posted, and it could save lot of wasted journeys if he lived in a bicycle-shop-rich (though not by my standards) area.
Last edited by grey; 7th April 2016 at 09:49. Reason: clarity of thought
Now this is all very confusing, our best cheese shop is next to a bike shop (and cafe), Chris runs the cheese shop but wouldn't be able to ride a bike as he needs to sit down between customers as he's a tad on the large side. Despite having a bike and being quite a keen cyclist (again) I haven't been into the shop/cafe as it seems a bit odd to ride my bike the 300 yds to the cafe when it is full of club cyclists who have already put in 50 miles before arriving! I have no idea if any of them are called Colin or whether any are employed as postmen. I have, however, been known to spend a small fortune on cheese from Chris including some Reblojohn.
It's a bike shop/cheese minefield out there.
Round here Cheesey Wheelers in Otley is a good old fashioned bike and cheese shop, as is Cicli Formaggio Favori in Shipley, but the Boursin Bicycle Boutique in Harrogate is pretentious and tied in to one brand and appeals to lycra wearers with German cars.
Just don't ask me about Velos Dairylea in Bradford.
Ian Hislop has a cat called Colin.
I have two bikes and a couple of cheeses.
Usually the number of cheeses in our house is a tad bit more volatile than the number of bikes. I am not quite sure which conclusions I should take?
Someone who lies about the little things will lie about the big things too.
All this obsessing over cheese and bicycles is disturbingly Gallic. Are there closet froggies posting here?
I saw some French earlier on this thread.
Someone who lies about the little things will lie about the big things too.
It starts with cheese and bicycles and finishes with carrying a manbag, wearing a stripey T-shirt, choosing sides between Satre and Camus, humming Gainsbourg songs and smelling of Caporals sans filtre. Is that really what you want for your children?
Sounds fair (except for the man bag)
Moi aussi. Went on a school trip to Paris in March 1959 and have been trying to achieve that look ever since.
Mmmm froggies... I am secret Cuisses de Grenouille lover, anyway, I've been again to my local cheese humidor/counter today and that very pleasant chap, I've mentioned earlier, has kindly invited me for a Saturday ride with him in Hamstead Heath. Moreover, it transpired that he has a couple friends who are also keen cyclists, they kindly booked for us a local sauna to relax after the morning ride. Can't wait.
Last edited by VDG; 7th April 2016 at 23:09.
You've given the game away there, Hamstead eh? Bit like 'Hamshire' for Hampshire and 'pound' for pounds. You'll enjoy your ride (and sauna) with Jules and Sandy of Bona Bikes, aka the Hackney Randonneurs.
Remember to stand up on the pedals on the hills, really give it to your lallies, give your other bits a rest. Be bold!
Last edited by grey; 7th April 2016 at 23:25.
How did you know I have lisp?! Uncanny. Anyway, I'll give it a good thrashing on Saturday, I was told that Colin will be coming over as well.
Chalfonts.
My conferencing account manager lived near Chalfont St Giles but, then, he was called Ian and not Colin.
We turned a corner this morning and there was a sight that has completely made my weekend in Vienna.
Note the spelling with K which was only introduced in the 2nd Duden edition for Austrian German from 1902.
Last edited by Carlton-Browne; 16th January 2020 at 19:04.
Grunther Gasse (known associate of Colin Hitler, Vienna 1998). When travelling in UK uses passport in name of 'Russell Farty', occupation - author (of 'The Poo at House Corner')
If you spot him over the weekend, let the Circus know please C-B
I caught a train earlier from Westbury (not on Trym), they made several announcements that only the front two carriages would be going forward but when the train arrived it was only two carriages long. Apparently they'd already removed the rear pair at Bath Spa.
Wearing a shirt and a t-shirt I was getting hot, so I took off the shirt and now I'm cold. What I am supposed to do, start this farce all over again? Very angry.
Speaking of bikes
That's nothing. I've just eaten some M&Ms (peanut, not chocolate) and now the packet is empty!
It's a bloody disgrace, I tell thee.
Just had a packet of Doritos (Tangy Cheese, didn't have any Chilli Heatwave in the vending machine - obviously this Colin character's fault!) go the same way.
It's a comestible conspiracy, I tell thee!
That reminds me. My MOT is due at the end of the month. Nissan, not a Honda.
My Honda says hello.
This is one of my bicycles, and by far the most useful when purchasing cheese as you can clearly see. I could have got quite a few more cheeses in the basket.
That's not a basket and your cheesy string is off.
........and on a proper French cheese bike the basket would move with the steering, like the headlights on DS19s, so there.
A cheese string that off might be more of a theft deterrent than a similarly sized 'lock'
Surely you are aware that in France cheese is only ever transported by Citroen SM so the lights not only move with the steering but are self-levelling as well. Bicycles are solely used for the transportation of onions as I am sure you know, Gauloise smoking whilst riding is optional I believe........and on a proper French cheese bike the basket would move with the steering, like the headlights on DS19s, so there.
So there.........and on a proper French cheese bike the basket would move with the steering, like the headlights on DS19s, so there.
Get yourself a proper cheese bike, and while you're at it, remember that in La Belle France it is the done thing to buy a baguette to go with your selection of cheeses, and to carry said baguette under one's armpit for that extra special je ne sais quoi.
And that wallpaper's horrible as well. Did you make the mistake of employing Josh as your interior designer?
Thanks for that, F.
Cracked it C-B, it's not a basket, it's a bloody ash tray!
Top work Maigret!
I must compliment you not on your choice of cheese, but on your floor tiles. Those look like original Victorian encaustic tiles to me - we discovered some also very well preserved hidden under carpet in our 1840 home.This is one of my bicycles, and by far the most useful when purchasing cheese as you can clearly see. I could have got quite a few more cheeses in the basket.
Very well done on the tiles sir.
I have a bike, in fact I have a few but none of them look like this one, funnily enough none of them are called Colin either or say "Hi" as they are inanimate objects.This is one of my bicycles, and by far the most useful when purchasing cheese as you can clearly see. I could have got quite a few more cheeses in the basket.
Looking at this one I can't help but think there is a poor cat most likely called Jess waiting expectantly on the late arrival of her owner, most likely called Pat, all because some scrote has liberated his bike.
You bunch of buggers!
1) Bike is a 1970s Pashley GPO postbike. That basket can take a full grown hippo!
2) That is a fluorescent green lock, used to lock a fluorescent orange bicycle (with fluorescent orange saddle and fluorescent orange pedals when inside said cheese shop. Nobody, and I mean nobody is going to steal that! (Why I built it like that in the first place). Plus, if they did, it is so heavy that all I would have to do is chase them to the base of the nearest hill.
3) Bought the house in August. Believe me, that wallpaper is one of the more minor crimes against decoration in this house! Working through 'em slowly.
4) The reason for holding the baguette under the arm is not for flavour, it is to leave the hand free to grip the 'staff of life'.
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