Reply With QuoteI sliced a brassy shot at Rye,
And hit a luckless passer-by,
The ball rebounded off his head,
And landing on the green, lay dead.
His widow, it must much console,
To note, was thus I won the hole.
Harry Graham I think.
My mate is hosting a charity night with a golf theme. Any good golf jokes out there to help brighten his dire speach .
Thanks in anticipation :)
I sliced a brassy shot at Rye,
And hit a luckless passer-by,
The ball rebounded off his head,
And landing on the green, lay dead.
His widow, it must much console,
To note, was thus I won the hole.
Harry Graham I think.
Google golf joke comb and you'll find a classic
Many years ago play was stopped during the USPGA because of lightning warnings and to kill time the commentators asked several players what they thought was the best course to follow if caught out on the course when lightning started to strike.
There were the usual safety tips from several but Lee Trevino said that he would stand in the middle of the fairway and hold up a One Iron, explaining that "Even God can't hit a One Iron"
Now where's my coat.......................
Couple of old boys on the tee. Hearse and cortege go by on the adjacent road. The first old boy steps away from his shot, takes off his cap and stands there, respectfully, until the hearse has passed. He then replaces his cap and prepares to take his shot. His mate says, 'That was nice, Bob. Very respectful. Good on yer.' The first guy says, 'Well, after 35 years of marriage, it was the least I could do.'
Hth.
Edit: btw, that Lee Trevino story is a cracker! I'll try to remember that... :)
Last edited by squareleg; 12th October 2012 at 19:21.
Lee Trevino was actually struck by lightning whilst playing in the 1975 Western Open. He said that it was God's way of asking to playOriginally Posted by Rinaldo1711
through.
______
Jim.
GOLF - gents only, ladies forbidden.
Trevino On Getting Older
The older I get, the better I used to be.
The three things an aging golfer loses ...his nerve, his memory and I can't remember the third thing.
I'm going to die in a tournament on the golf course, they'll just throw me
in a bunker and build it up a little
A nice thing about the Senior Tour is that we can take a cart and a cooler.
If your game is not going well, you can always have a picnic.
• "I've been hit by lightning and been in the Marine Corps for four years. I've traveled the world and been about everywhere you can imagine. There's not anything I'm scared of except my wife."
• "You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work."
• "If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron."
• "You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen."
• "There is no such thing as a natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls."
• "You don't know what pressure is until you've played for $5 a hole with only $2 in your pocket."
• "One of the nice things about the Senior Tour is that we can take a cart and cooler. If your game is not going well, you can always have a picnic."
• "I'm in the woods so much I can tell you which plants are edible."
• "I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes they would have come up sliced."
• "Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money."
• "I'm a golfaholic. And all the counseling in the world wouldn't help me."
• "I still swing the way I used to, but when I look up the ball is going in a different direction."
Here's one joke and one ancecdote.
Guy comes in from a round of golf and his mate asks him "how did you get on today"
"Awful" came the reply. "7,7,7,8" "8?????" his mate said in disbelief. "I'm not a machine you know" came the reply back.
Sam Snead is playing in a pro-am and he and his team reach a long par 3. Snead hits a 2-iron past the pin and the ball spins back towards the hole.
One of his playing partners says to him "Sam, that's amazing, how do you get back spin on a 2-iron like that?"
Snead says to him "how far do you hit a 2-iron?" to which his playing partner says "150 yards". Snead says to him "then what on earth do you want to get back spin for?"
Thank you for stories . Will pass on
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