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Thread: Lonely Hearts Ads

  1. 14th April 2008, 13:27 #1
    Griswold
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    Lonely Hearts Ads

    What they REALLY mean


    ADVENTUROUS = Likes Anal

    ATHLETIC = No Tits

    30 SOMETHING = 41

    FUN = Annoying

    WILD = Gets Pissed Easily

    BEAUTIFUL EYES = Face Like A Robbers Dog

    SEEKS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR = Ex Husband Is A Bleedin Nutter

    NEW-AGE = Hairy, With A Smelly Fanny

    HEADSTRONG = Argumentative

    ENJOYS PUBBING AND CLUBBING = Alcoholic

    CURVY = Chubby Cow

    CUDDLY = Fat Cow

    LIKES EATING OUT - Lazy Fat Cow
    Best Regards - Peter

    I'd hate to be with you when you're on your own.
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  2. 14th April 2008, 13:46 #2
    Jonmurgie
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    PMSL... spot on!
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  3. 14th April 2008, 13:53 #3
    Scottishtrunkmonkey
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    good one Peter :lol:
    Respect the past, live the present, protect the future
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  4. 14th April 2008, 13:58 #4
    bricktop
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    :toothy10:
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  5. 14th April 2008, 14:00 #5
    Seamus
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    :D :D :D

    Thomas
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  6. 14th April 2008, 14:06 #6
    Dapper
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    :lol: Excellent :lol:
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  7. 14th April 2008, 14:36 #7
    magirus
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    :lol: :lol: :lol:
    F.T.F.A.
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  8. 14th April 2008, 14:46 #8
    Ari
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    I think I've been out with most of those...!
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  9. 14th April 2008, 14:47 #9
    deano42
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    Fantastic.!

    I like the new age one.!     :D :lol:

    deano
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  10. 14th April 2008, 15:44 #10
    WatchScout
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    Not that I would seek a girlfriend or any other friend through an ad ( I must be the only one in my workplace who, at one time or another, has not been interested in these ads or Facebook), but they do seem spot on. Like the house ads: "A fixer-upper for the handyman" = A smoking heap of rubble.
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  11. 14th April 2008, 16:09 #11
    westy
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    :lol: :lol:
    Duly copied and forwarded!
    Thanks!

    Westy
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  12. 14th April 2008, 16:09 #12
    VinceR
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    :D :D :D But hopefully I'll never have to find out if true!
    /vince ..
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  13. 14th April 2008, 16:41 #13
    S.L
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads



    /Stefan
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  14. 14th April 2008, 18:06 #14
    ben4watches
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    Hillarious. 8)
    Cheers,

    Ben



    ..... for I have become the Jedi of flippers


    " an extravagance is anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife "
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  15. 14th April 2008, 19:28 #15
    wali
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    likes obscure music!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JM3jRjOKrHw
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  16. 14th April 2008, 21:13 #16
    mr1973
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    LOL very good :-) :lol:
    I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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  17. 14th April 2008, 21:42 #17
    WatchScout
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    I am not even going to see where that link goes....
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  18. 15th April 2008, 11:30 #18
    jimmerjammer
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    Quote Originally Posted by wali
    likes obscure music!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JM3jRjOKrHw
    A REAL PILE OF SHIT WALI thanks for posting :albino:
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  19. 18th April 2008, 12:17 #19
    sundial
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    A few more ...

    Bubbly ... Propensity to froth at the mouth
    Blonde ... Has a cupboardful of Peroxide
    Cuddly ... obese chocaholic
    Slim ... anorexic
    Enjoys dining out ... will cost you a fortune
    Looks much younger ... but will need more plastic surgery soon
    Good figure ... after the last boob and suction jobs
    Smart ... has a Harvey Nichols account she cant pay off
    Enjoys travelling ... looking for someone to pay for the next cruise
    Maybe something more ... if you pay for the cruise
    Quiet nights in ... records and watches all the soaps

    Cheers

    dunk
    "Well they would say that ... wouldn't they!"
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  20. 19th April 2008, 20:35 #20
    glazba
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    :mrgreen:

    Reminds me of this:
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  21. 23rd April 2008, 23:46 #21
    SIB
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    Re: Lonely Hearts Ads

    Brilliant, that's getting sent around the office tomorrow!! :D
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