On ruling out a diesel, I've run a e91 BMW 330d for 10 years and my wife has run a Mk4 Honda CRV 2.2 DTEC for 6 years. 95% of journeys in both cars are short trips.
Both cars have DPFs, but we've (touch wood) had zero short journey related issues with either car in those time frames.
My view is that it's not necessarily short journeys that are the issue with Diesels, it's a lack of long journeys that causes problems. As long as the car gets a few long trips a year it should be ok.
A Diesel engine suits an SUV due to the extra torque. Our CRV has 150 bhp but it doesn't feel slow.
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