TOTALLY RUBBISH films you've watched recently...

[wildheart]

Another vote for Rebel Moon, left after half an hour dire!


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[Tokyo Tokei]

Clearly unable to heed the wisdom of crowds, I watched Rebel Moon

What a turkey.

Like a child saw Seven Samurai, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings back to back and then described his favourite scenes to his friends using crayons.

But that's just the script. Too many other questions. Like why the writer and director felt he had so much talent to spare that he could also be his own DoP? Why the Irish accents? What is Rik Mayall circa The Young Ones doing as the Baddie?

And if you must spend two and a half hours world building, how do you end up with a universe less sophisticated than The Clangers?

A compete shambles. I am going to watch part two, obviously.

[Saint-Just]

Clearly unable to heed the wisdom of crowds, I watched Rebel Moon

What a turkey.

Like a child saw Seven Samurai, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings back to back and then described his favourite scenes to his friends using crayons.

But that's just the script. Too many other questions. Like why the writer and director felt he had so much talent to spare that he could also be his own DoP? Why the Irish accents? What is Rik Mayall circa The Young Ones doing as the Baddie?

And if you must spend two and a half hours world building, how do you end up with a universe less sophisticated than The Clangers?

A compete shambles. I am going to watch part two, obviously.

Have you considered submitting a cinema column to your favourite broadsheet?

[Wimm]

A compete shambles. I am going to watch part two, obviously.

Don't. Just don't. Unless you have watched everything on your list and you have a whole load of chores to do. Then it may make useful procrastination matter. Even then I think I'd still prefer to clean the kitchen. At least I can do that in less time.