Reply With QuoteLolOriginally Posted by WORKSIMON
Well ????????????
Well ????????????
Cheers
Simon
Ralph Waldo Emerson: We ask for long life, but 'tis deep life, or noble moments that signify. Let the measure of time be spiritual, not mechanical.
LolWell ????????????
53,000 Liverpudlians meet in Anfield for a 'Scousers Are Not Stupid' convention.
Steven Gerrard addresses the audience. "We are all here today to prove to the world that Scousers are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer please?"
Wayne Rooney gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. Gerrard asks him, "What is 15 plus 15?"
After around 20 seconds Rooney says, "Forty!"
Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the Scousers start chanting, "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"
Gerrard says, "Well since we have a capacity crowd, world-wide press and global broadcast media here, I think we can give him another chance." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"
After nearly 30 seconds Rooney eventually says, "Twelve?"
Gerrard looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is disheartened and Rooney starts crying.
But then the 53,000 Scousers begin to yell and wave their hands, shouting, "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"
Gerrard, unsure whether he is now doing more harm than good eventually says, "Okay then, what is 2 plus 2?"
Silence hangs over the stadium.
Rooney closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"
Pandemonium breaks out throughout the stadium as the Scouse crowd stand to a man, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream,
"Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"
if i had a dollar for every time a woman found me unattractive, they would find me attractive by now.
Some good contenders here. So good in actual fact I am thinking of adding a shitty old nato in as a second prize.
Good luck everybody. Have a good one.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A Fsh.
A fish swims into a wall... dam...
What's the difference between Illeagle and Unlawful? Ones against the law and the other is a sick bird.
I was disturbed by my neighbour banging on my door at 2am this morning.
Bleedin cheek of it, he has no consideration for other people.
It was luckily for him that I was busy practising my drums at the time, and hadn't gone off to bed yet.
Family (jokes your kids might like) section entry:
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"
Q: What does a gay horse say
A: hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
After some strange symptoms over the last week, my optician has referred me to a specialist for urgent retina surgery.
I hope it goes well, I couldn't see myself without them.
Ok, I think we've milked this one now for all its worth... and the winners are...
Pm me your addresses please !
Thanks
Dave
Good luck everybody. Have a good one.
I have tried my best. I dont get it.
My girlfriend has a tattoo of a clam shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear to it you can smell the sea.
Wears....
Thanks.
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